Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
