Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
