It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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