how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
