Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
