what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
