People with herpes should wear stickers.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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