My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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