Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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