No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
