He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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