dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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