so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
