oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was like eating out sand paper
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
