I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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