Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My dick has a subreddit
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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