Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
