Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize