We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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