i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
