i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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