I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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