dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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