i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
