found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
