This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And then the night went full on bisexual.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize