I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
