You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
