So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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