Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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