Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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