i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
