the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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