I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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