Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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