it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
