D3 body, D1 cock
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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