My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am naked and annoyed.
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