grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
