I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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