chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. Itβs a dickfest!!
Randomize
