so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
