I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
