That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
