I heard we made out
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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