hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize