Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize