I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
