angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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