the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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