While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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