I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
