i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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