Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
