he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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