This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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