sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize