We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
