is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
