I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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