I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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