My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
