your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
